EA-LEC: Shaming The Shameless

Shannon groaned as he sat up straight in the middle of Belcazzar City. He had a grumpy expression on his face as he held a notepad and pencil in his hands. Several people walked down the street passing him.

However as they did so, they stopped for a moment to look at the wizard. They couldn’t resist staring at him with strange looks. Some even pointed at him and rudely laughed with a couple others taking pictures with their phones. Shannon cast them a dark glare with the occasional growl but then gone back minding his own business in the middle of the street.

What the people were staring at was that he had on some kind of large sandwich board over him. On each side was a short wall of large, black letters spelling out a small message.

“The only thing that I don’t disrespect is my mirror.”

Shannon let out a deep sigh before speaking up. “Please sign! I need thirty signatures! Please help me from this exasperating experience!”

A few people stopped in their spots to stare at him for a moment before walking off. Shannon groaned as he slumped his shoulders.

Suddenly, he heard chuckling from the side of him. Turning his head, he found himself looking down at Bogus who had his arms crossed.

“Well, this is a surprise.” Bogus chuckled behind his scarf.

“Bogus, what are you doing here?” Shannon asked in shock.

The vertically-challenged man merely shrugged. “I came into Belcazzar to get my shotgun fixed after I used it for more times than I should have. So importantly, what are YOU doing here?”

Shannon growled as he looked over himself. “Naza is forcing me to wear this uncomfortable sandwich-board and get 100 people to sign this sheet!”

Bogus again chuckled. “Sounds like you and Naza had got into another spat. What you did THIS time?”

Shannon shook his head. “I swear Naza is getting more violent every week. Earlier today, I overheard Naza and another co-worker talking about going to the beach. Said co-worker said that she wanted to go to the beach but was too scared because she apparently had recently gained weight.”

“Uh-huh.” Bogus said raising an unseen eyebrow.

“I then spoke up by suggesting her to wear a giant waist floating ring so if the people on the beach saw fat, they would think it was the device.” Shannon said.

Bogus’ eyes widened in the fullest when he had heard this.

Shannon then sighed before shaking his head. “Next, there was a blur of tears, yells and pain.”

Bogus groaned shaking his head. “Shannon, you are indeed a class act. I am impressed that Naza didn’t kill you on the spot for saying that.”

“Why? I was actually trying to HELP her and she broke down into tears!” Shannon insisted. “If there is anyone who should be out here being punished, it should be HER for being ungrateful!”

Bogus rolled his eyes at this.

“But now I have to stay around here wearing this uncomfortable and incredibly tacky sandwich board asking random common folk for 30 signatures.” Shannon groaned.

“So how many have you got?” Bogus asked.

“Seven…” Shannon groaned. His face immediately lit up. “Hey, seeing that you are here, you might as well sign this thing.”

Bogus blinked his eyes before narrowing them. “What’s in it for me?”

“Easy. You would be helping the Greatest wizard in…”

“Pass.” Bogus said quickly.

Shannon quickly growled but tried to control himself. “Because the longer I stay out here, the more exasperating this experience becomes.”

“Your point being?” Bogus asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well, the more exasperating this experience becomes, the larger my rant would get when I finish the Heroes’ Hideout next.” Shannon smirked.

Bogus’ eyes bugged out before he narrowed them. “Don’t you threaten ME.”

Shannon paused before shifting his eyes from left to right trying to figure out a way to persuade Bogus.

“Come on. Surely there is something I could trade you.” Shannon begged.

“Trade?” Bogus asked.

“Yeah, trade your signature for my magic if you know what I mean.” Shannon said.

“Your magic?” Bogus asked.

“Yes, I am the greatest wizard in the world so I am able to use my magic in anything.” Shannon reassured.

Bogus blinked twice. “Are you the greatest caster of water magic in the world?”

Shannon was confused by the specific question but quickly answered confidently. “Of course!”

“Then, it is a deal!” Bogus said grinning before his scarf.

Shannon’s eyes widened at this. “R-Really?”

“Of course! I get your water magic if you get my signature!” Bogus said.

“All right! Thank you very much! I knew that I will give you an offer that you couldn’t refuse!” Shannon said leaning over to give Bogus his notepad and pencil.

The vertically-challenged tavern owner wasted no time writing down his name before giving it back to Shannon. The wizard happily accepted it looking at the signature.

“Again, I thank you very much!” Shannon said.

“No, thank YOU! Wait until I tell the other waiters that they are off dish-duty!” Bogus smiled.

Shannon’s smile vanished. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, your water magic will be more than efficient in washing dirty dishes!” Bogus smiled.

Shannon’s pupils shrank. “Washing dirty dishes!?”

“That’s right! Anyway, good bye and good luck with those signatures!” Bogus said walking off. “Don’t call me. I’LL call YOU!”

“N-No, wait!” Shannon called out holding out his hand.

However, Bogus was already walking down the street acting as if he was completely oblivious to Shannon’s uncertainly. The green-haired wizard’s jaw dropped watching as the small figure go out of sight. He then hanged his head in defeat.

“And I told myself that this is the last time I wouldn’t resort to doing dirty chores just to get signatures…” He muttered. “Now I am eight for eight.”